– Welcome to this month’s
Fails and Bails special. We’re gonna take a look at your bad moments and make them great and we have got EMBN’s Steve
Jones to help us do it. Steve I’m gonna entertain you today. Well you know what it’s really great ’cause we watch these
videos and obviously, everyone has sent in these videos by their own will, they want us to see it, they want us to celebrate
it and we get to laugh at the moments where it just goes wrong and it happens to all of us. – Did they want us to feel their pain? – You know what Steve, you’re definitely going
to feel some of their pain ’cause some of these crashes are nasty, really nasty. Have you ever had any really bad crashes? You must have done over the years. – I mean, I did have a bad one in Vail World Cup back in 2000, where I split a testicle in half. I thought I’d winded myself (laughs) But it was actually a split testicle. And it was like a 5mm gap down the middle. – Wow enough Steve enough! We’re gonna have to get
into the videos I’m afraid because you’re getting a
bit close to the line there. We’re gonna pick a favourite as we go through these videos. We’re gonna put them up
against each other at the end and the winner is gonna
get a GMBN water bottle like this very one. It may well be this very one. Don’t drink out of that Steve. Drink out of your tea. Okay here we go. Our first video this month is from James. He’s riding his Saracen
Mantra and here we go. Get ready Steve. – Okay – We’re in. Oh yes, oh we’ve gone slow-mo.
– Slow-mo. Gone slow-mo early. – It’s sometimes not as scary in slow-mo. – I wanna scratch my beard off! What’s gonna happen? He started slow-mo early didn’t he? He’s off! Here he goes! There’s a tree there. Go on. Oh on the front– this is OTB. Oh you’re off! Face! Face! – He’s really tied up to the
front wheel there isn’t he? – Right next up we’ve got
Ana riding Santa Cruz Bronson – Ana? – This is in Mexico. – Ana? – Ana it says Ana. I dunno what to tell you Steve. Here we go. Oh it’s a quick one. It is an Ana. Wow Jesus Ana
– That’s pretty vertical I quite like that. – That was nearly a front flip. – I quite like that. – Let’s have another look at that. – Ooh Looks like she got a pot-hole then. Wow. Do you know what I love? Look at the bike! (laughs hysterically) – Shock! Comb. Amazing. I like that Ana well done. Well done. Now we’ve got us going there we’ve got us going now. – It’s the first time
I’ve done this Martin. – It’s good to get a
few rolling we’re off. – Do you do this every week? – This is basically what
we do in the Dirt Shed, we just have a laugh. Just look at stuff and laugh at it. – And laugh at people. – No but they want us to laugh, they’ve asked us to.
– Really? Okay, fair enough then. – Okay Lukas next on his
2019 Giant Reign show off. – It’s gonna be a pedal innit? – Right here we go this
in Victoria Australia. Here he comes. – Hold on, you actually get paid to laugh at people? – Gutted. Oh man, that is so brilliant. One more for the watch road. Oh did you see the back he just loses the back. – Loses it, controls it, and then loses it again. – Ah brilliant. – Double impact. – Brilliant brilliant. I might put Lukas on my
hit list at this point. – Yeah I think Ana and
Lukas is definitely so far. – Right next up, that was a good one I liked that one – It’s quite good fun this isn’t it? – That was different. Oh yeah it’s a great time. This is Luis on a Specialized Enduro in Madeira Island Portugal. Here we go. Oh it’s a 15 second banger. Coming in fast. – Look at all the work. (both gasp) Something bad happened then. – That’s sliding along the floor right? – Something really nasty
happened to that bike. – That’s slithering. – Look he’s trying to get the bike– – Can we have a look what happened there? – Yeah let’s – I mean that’s dangerous I mean you’re gonna get all the splinters. – Let’s see, let’s just get back into that, the bike seems to just like collapse. – Nice bit of turf work there. – Look at the front
wheel’s gone there Steve. The front wheel’s gone.
– I know – Yeah yeah yep yep. – Three seconds in and we can see that the front wheel’s gone.
– How is the front wheel gone and that, – I Dunno it’s hit something. – D’ya know what? Has it got caught up in the turf? – Yeah I think it has! – I’m not sure, I mean ya know, they’ve done a nice job
of landscaping it but – Let’s just watch that through, coming in oh, hits that turf whack! – Yeah, that’s what happened
Steve that’s what it is. – Dangerous old game Martin. – It’s nice
– Mountain biking. – It’s not funny though. Not funny. I like it when they’re funny. – It hasn’t got the
impact of Ana and Lukas. – No Lukas is still my favorite but Luis well done I’m
glad you’re alright, glad you’re alright.
– You know what? If this was bike fault it would be nice. – Yes I’m with ya. I’m with ya. Next up Joseph on a Merida 140 in Tasmania Australia. We’ve had a lot from Australia haven’t we? They like crashing. – Well if you think about it, it’s the summer season now right? – Of course it is, they’re going for it right now. – Yeah – They’re on it This is not the best end, that’s all it says. I don’t know what to expect. Oh I love it when there’s
a good 11 seconds. – Look at that heat. – Coming in. There’s a big old lip to look at. – I can’t get over you
actually do this every week. – Ooh. – You watch these gluttons of punishment. – Jee – That was a lot of dust
in her mouth right then. Look at that. What’s that? – Can I watch it again? – Oh my God that’s bad. – Can I watch it again? – I mean– – Whoa. I mean, I mean that’s gonna be a lot of rash. No pads or anything. All I can say, all I can say there is that Joseph got up
and ran away from it. – Done well really, done well. – Got away with that. – I can’t wait to show you
that one afterwards Josh, you’re gonna like that one. That is great. – And on a technique level, but we’re not judging technique. – No, no it would be harsh. It’s all gone wrong, this video’s all wrong, that’s what this video is it’s all wrong everything’s wrong. – We’re wrong. We are kind of wrong. What d’ya mean carry on keep going let’s keep going.
– Keep going. Right Josef nice work, like it, very good. I’m sticking with Lukas myself. – I’m Lukas and Ana so far. – You can only pick one Steve I pick Lukas – Okay well I’m keeping
my options open here. – Right Abbas. Giant Fathom in Jefferson Forest. Nice. In the winter here in the snow. – Tension – Goes to show that–
– I dunno what’s gonna happen. Oh no. Oh Jesus. – Okay fair enough, let’s move on though. I mean, he obviously– However, however, hit his head on the side there. – What is that noise? – Oh it’s his helmet on that rock. – Exactly. – That’s a rock. – Hmm that’s not looking– – That’s a rock there, that’s a log, that’s a rock, watch. Ooh my. What is that? – That’s his head hitting the rock. Like an egg. Like a hen laying an egg but the egg lands on the rock. – I shouldn’t laugh really. Moving on. Next one, Jeromy’s Knolly Delirium. In USA, Ohio. Trying out some new technical lines. Oh this is gonna be brilliant when anyone tries the skinny right, it always ends in tears. – How do you know it’s a skinny? – I can see it. I can see it, see my eyes work.
– That’s not skinny is it? – Oh right
– My eyes work. Yeah here we go. Yes. Oh. I hope that wasn’t the crash. I mean– – Right we’re gonna have
to wait this one out there’s something good coming I can tell. Yes. No. Oh come on dude you can do it. – I think – Come on Jeromy don’t let me down. – I mean he’s got a full face helmet on. – Come on he’s gonna do it. He’s gonna do it. Come on Jeromy, come on! Yes! No. – I think this is one of the – He’s tall isn’t he? – This is actually one
of the funniest videos I’ve ever seen. – He’s got this. – Oh did you see his foot go? See that foot go? – Ooh no. – That was nasty weren’t it? Why didn’t he put his foot on the break? Jeromy. – Fails and Bails – I can’t believe that’s
the first thing he said, first thing he was thinking about. – Watch his foot. – Oh! Jesus. – The first thing he thinks
of is Fails and Bails. – That is so nasty I’m
gonna get a bit of a freeze frame shot on that
so we can all take it in. Ooh look at that. (makes cracking sound) – Oh that’s gone, that is, that’s not good. – 35 seconds Josh you’re
gonna enjoy that one. Jeromy I wonder what happened after this did you suddenly realize
once you’d got out of the adrenaline moment of Fails and Bails did you realize
– That’s broken – I’m gonna have to go to the hospital. – That is nasty. Really nasty. Got away with a twisted ankle he says. – Oh does it say that? – Yeah. – Okay.
– That’s what he says. – As long as the doctor got it right. – I hope so
– Right diagnosis – I hope so. – Could be a totally
smashed to pieces ankle. – I think we’ve got some
more breakages coming. This is Luke. A very broken bike in a random car park, nothing special. Here we go. – What’s that in the background though what’s that round building? Oh Jesus Christ! I’ll tell you what. – We’ve all done that haven’t we? You come in or something and
you just clip the back wheel you’re like ooh (beep) – Look at this building in the background. – Dang. – You’ve got a round
building in the background. – Oh brilliant. Brilliant come on– – Oh it’s not a round building! Sorry, it’s not a round building it’s actually the wheel around the building. Look I thought that was a round building it’s actually a wheel on the outside got it totally wrong there. – Steve you’re crazy. You’re literally crazy. And that’s a building. That’s a wheel, bikes have round wheels. – Sorry it’s not a round building is it? – Right next up we have got, I liked that one a lot. That’s my new favorite. – Really? – Yeah I think so. Yeah I’m going with that as my– no. – I like Ana and Lukas so far. – What about Jeromy and his broken ankle? – Can we move on? – Luke? No I’m sticking with Lukas. Right here we go. – However the dusty one was, – No! No.
– No? – Predictable
– Okay – I like to be surprised. I like to be surprised. – I mean Jeromy surprised you didn’t he? You thought he was gonna be a– – All crashes I’ve ever had right, when people watch ’em they go, (shrieks) I didn’t expect that. – Hmm – You know I’m proud of ’em. – Gotta have surprise in there. – Hmm
– Right. Geo up next on his Vitus– I dunno how to say that. Domina? Domina? Domina. – Where d’ya see it? – Vitus Domina. – Oh Vitus Domineer. – Domineer?
– Oh Dominer. Dominer. Vitus Dominer.
– Dominer. Right here we go, let’s see what, that’s the wrong button. Here we go, Geo here he comes! Two minutes twenty-five? Go on then dude. Oh here we go. Here we go. Oh just watch this.
– Here we go. – Watch this. – What?
– Whoa. No! How did that happen? I mean that’s drama. Josh’s face. I think Josh is more
traumatized than the guy. – Oh dude stop it. – What’s our meeting? – What is our mating did he say? – I’ve already been there. – Man, that is– I said I wanted to be surprised. Boy was I surprised! – We were expecting to be like– – You know what my favorite– let’s let these guys finish this. – How the hell does he go, the whole camera goes into a total whirl. – It gets perfect shot of the, the deer that turns up.
– Can we have another look at this please? – Hang on let me recover. Let me recover from the
winded session there because there’s nothing
better than a winded session. I mean we’ve all had, it’s the worst pain. – It’s horrible. – When you’re winded and you’re just like (pants) Oh so good! So good Geo that is brilliant. That is brilliant. – What happens in the moment from the deer to the spinning camera. – I think the deer tries
to get a better shot of Geo on the floor. I think the deer must take control of it. – [Geo] I’ll just go then. – I’ll just go then. You don’t know what’s coming dude. I wouldn’t have gone if I was you. – That bit. That bit. – Oh Geo man. – You’ll be showing your
children that in 20 years’ time. Oh that is such a good bit– His first line to his mate’s good. – [Geo’s Friend #1]
Breathe breathe come on. – [Geo’s friend #2] What’s sore? Lie down. – I bet people wonder what we’re watching. Geo, amazing. You are a hundred percent in the lead for that water bottle right now. – I think so yeah. A hundred percent. That was brilliant. Okay yes. Megavalanche Alpes d’Huez Steve next. – Oh dear yeah, done the Mega. – Yeah Rene. Good how did you do? – Top 20. However, however, in qualifying, I was in the lead at the start gate. Because I was in the lead I didn’t know which way to go so I went the wrong way. Anyway let’s go. – Let’s hope Rene does better than that. Top 20’s good though dude. – Let’s go
– Amazing Here we go. Oh I’ve hit the wrong button again. Here we go. Rene, in he comes. – Coming into town, coming into town. – Oh I don’t like his bars much. – It’s that moment you just wait for it. Oh no! Oh! – Dude you haven’t got time to talk! – [Rene] Keep rolling keep rolling. – Oh my God he was lucky then wasn’t he? – I mean that’s horrible. – Look at that. – A jump onto a boardwalk I mean can you think of anything worse? (imitates speaker) – Whoa man he got away with that one. – I don’t understand anything he’s saying. – Dutch. He’s dutch. – But he’s done well
to get away with that. – I mean if it had been
good it would have been a hot sticky day but it wasn’t so good. – Not bad at all. Like that one Rene. – Where are we now Scotland? – We are
– California? – California with Mike on his Santa Cruz Bronson. – In Hensley Lake. – New rider not being cautious
on his first steep downhill. Ace. Here we go. Oh yeah a minute of it. – Is that California? – Is he in slow-mo? Or is he going slow? He’s going really No it’s in slow-mo. – [Mike] Watch it. Watch your brakes! – You alright? – Is he alright? Are you alright? – Oh my God. – Wow. Man they came, he came past fast didn’t he? See him come through again. It looks like it might be
really early in the morning and the ground’s hard
from frost or something. D’you know what I mean? – I’d like to help. – He’s giving a lecture. – And he falls off. – Doesn’t get out and doesn’t clip out. That’s what happens I
thought maybe he slipped but he doesn’t clip out. Mike you numpty! – But he’s on a Kona he’s
not on a Santa Cruz Bronson. Oh he’s talking about him on the Bronson. – I think that might be Mike. – [Mike] How come you were going so fast? – How come you going so fast? Right next, Zack. – I mean you can see who
you’re up against on this show. It’s hard innit? – Honestly it’s a tough one isn’t it. – It is hard you gotta do something good. Sending it in, come on it’s gotta be hard. Zack
– I think the deer was good right? – It was amazing. Amazing. He gets hit by a deer and winded. Knocked out by a deer. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. This is in Mangamahoe Mountain Bike Park in New Zealand. Come on Zack. Next one’s coming in. – Go Zack! – Did he say something? – He said go Zack. – Here he goes. – Ooh! – Impact. Big impact. – Oh that was bad. – [Zack’s Friend] Are you alright? – No he’s not alright. – Oh dear. Oh I dunno what happened there. D’you know what gets me? – Hang on a second. Description was Pretty stunned and banged up, big concussion. But he’s alright! Well, a concussion’s not really alright. – D’you know what gets
me is like the equipment people riding in on some of these shoots. – Yeah. – Sub-standard.
– That was actually, that was really nasty.
– Doesn’t look like he walked away from that. – Not for a few minutes. – No. – Yeah he had a big concussion I’m scared to watch it again. Oh man he proper rolls in. – Yeah he’s knocked
himself out there ain’t he. (whistles) Yeah he’s knocked himself out there. – Whoa. That’s scary. That one’s scary. I feel like I should give
Zack the water bottle but I’m not gonna ’cause
the deer was amazing! The deer was amazing and Zack, you know, getting knocked out was a cheap shot. You got away with it, you got it on footage though so you’ve got your money shot so. – What d’you mean it’s a cheap shot? – Well you know he can’t get the award just for getting knocked out. – The deer I mean had all–
– It’s gotta have humor. – it had all the elements. – It’s gotta have humor. – It had all the elements it had, it had the deer coming in slow motion it had the camera going into some kind of overdrive spin, and for some reason, what I don’t get is that the camera’s in the
right place to film him when he comes round. – It’s amazing. – How does the camera go
from being on his head to being on the floor filming him? – The deer’s like stay there dude, I’ve got it, I’ve got it he’s filming him. – Can you answer the question though? How does he go from filming
the deer coming into shot, next thing he’s growing on the floor with his helmet still on, – I think he’s got a GoPro chesty on, the deer hits that, it winds him and then he crashes that’s the rolling and then he’s winded and he pulls it off ’cause he’s like, and then it just lands
– But how come the camera’s actually
filming him being winded? – I think that’s luck, I think that’s just luck. – Whatever
– It’s pretty good. – Whatever I think it’s top of the pile. I think– – But it’s not gonna be
as good as this one Steve. – Oh there’s more? – This is the last one. Dan on his NS Bike, Space Skate Park, I think I’ve been there. Here we go let’s see what happens. Skate Park normal music bling. Wow. He was so close to taking
his head clean off then. – Dear dear. – Man, I’ve done a few back flips
like that in my time. He actually does hit his head. On the coping of the take-off. In a back flip. Insane. – You do this every week? – I’ve got one more. – One more? – Yeah I got one more, I can’t stop pressing play on ’em now. Will on his Rocky Mountain in Tasmania. I pressed the wrong button again. I keep pressing the wrong button. Have you noticed? Here we go I pressed the right button. Six seconds come on Will. I dunno what happened. – I dunno – I think that might have been quite bad. – Might have been. – Did he fall off a cliff or something? Oh no he is there, he is there. – Did you hear the
weird bird in the woods? – Yeah it’s cool noises isn’t it I’d love to live in a place
with birds with weird noises. There has been some
amazing crashes this month some brilliant ones. We had Ana there at the start. – Ana, and she was like that. – She did great.
– Vertical Oh so over the bars. – There’s dirty puddle. – Lukas that was great, I liked that one a lot, very funny. – He corrected it but
he didn’t quite make it. – Unexpected. But I think the winner’s
a hands down isn’t it? – I think so.
– On Leo – Yeah
– Geo. – Geo in Inverness. – In Inverness on his Vetus, wow brilliant, and Bambi. Geo and Bambi you win
the GNBM water bottle. – I’d give him a ton
full of water bottles. – He’s just getting that one, that’s all he’s getting. If you’ve had a fail or a bail and you would like to
get in on our monthly review of the crashes or get in on the Dirt
Shed Show where we show Fails and Bails every single week, you can upload them to our uploader, the link is just there. And you can upload your fails and bails or bike vault pictures or viewer edits or your send of the week
which is a new thing we’re doing on the Dirt Shed Show which I’m looking forward to. You can send all your stuff in today. – Shouldn’t be encouraging people. – No we shouldn’t. If you would like to
see the Dirt Shed Show then why don’t you click just here you can click on Steve’s
face to subscribe, well it’s just off of Steve’s
face it’s that glow there. And give us a thumbs
up like before you go, Geo you are our winner and the
bottle’s on its way to you. See you next time.