My First Time Biking to Work

My First Time Biking to Work


(intense music) – Let’s go save the world. ♪ Turn it up ♪ (trap music playing) (gentle music) – I am so proud of you. You are so sexy when you’re
eco-friendly. (chuckles) – Baby, you can say
goodbye to fossil fuels and hello to… Disposable income (heavy breathing) – Good luck! – Hashtag one less car. (bell ringing) (bright music) (dog barking) (horn honking) (brakes squealing and horns honking) – Ma’am? Ma’am. I’m not sure if you’ve been
informed, but cars dump about 330 million tons of CO2 into the atmosphere every year. (speaking in Russian) (Eastern European music playing) (heavy breathing) (excrutiating pain) – Oh, God! (gasping) – Hey, Mister. – Yeah? – You’re pathetic and I hate you. (spirited music) – What the hell are you
doing, you neon moron? – Excuse me, this is a bike lane. – A bike lane? To hell with your bike lane! You (bleeping) idiot, you
almost hit my car door. I should slap the soul right out of you, you stupid (bleeping). (speaking in foreign language) – Pathetic, and I hate you. – Get a job and a car like the rest of us, and maybe you can move out
of your mom’s basement, you freaking loser. (spirited music) – This doesn’t seem like the route– I’ve been lost in the
woods now for many hours. I scraped my knee really bad. If anyone sees my wife, tell her to delete my browsing history. – Jason, is that you? – Ted, oh my god, I’m so happy to see you. I’ve been so lost! – What? We’re like a block from the office, what are you talking about? – What? – Let’s get you cleaned up, man. (groaning) What are you doing out here, anyway? – I was biking to work.
– Yeah, looks like it. You’re not cut out for
this kind of stuff, buddy. Here, have some coffee. Yeah, there you go, down the hatch. – Honey, you sure you don’t
wanna just take the car? – Oh, I’m sure. Out of my way, gas-guzzling
global warmers!