When my film was finished Jeremy, and I went to Westminster Council to show it to the panel of experts There was Chris Boardman policy advisor for British Cycling Martin Lowe’s City Transport Commissioner and Alan Kennedy Road Safety GB the good news is we have two films for you to look at now we have one no – Its – why don’t we show them yours first of all which I believe is that one there? gentlemen if you’d like to relax whilst I just insert this in the machine you Stopped playing with children’s toys when you grew up so why ride a bicycle? At your age get a car you Just haven’t got it is that absolutely crazy Well, no I could see you disappointed. Just in the way you’re looking James. They’re disappointed with your work may I just play you this one if I may just let me show you this one because I think this will rectify the problem which Is the gun already? Territory You just got it wrong spread forum. Where’s the cyclists yeah mangled at the end. What was the brief? Well, we’re trying to make cycling safer, and we thought the best way to do that is to stop people cycling But the message you should be getting across is that people need to be considerate towards each other I’m not sure they’re going to like our poster idea that we had as well, but we came up with that They did spell it wrong I Think we’re going in tirely the wrong direct ally their own direction if you actually spoke them to a cyclist well No, well, maybe that would be a good idea or even try it yourself And so we put on some cycling clothes and went on a fact-finding trip around London’s glittering West End Come on Jeremy behind you sounds my battle for pedestrians Look at him he’s wearing normal clothing the lunatic. You’ll be killed you like it Underneath a blow to the face Our mission was to identify the dangers that cyclists face city streets and soon we spotted one James we’ve got to go right right. There’s a lot of peril involved in that Be careful James is great peril So we came up with a solution We only went left It’s not a bad idea so you can still get where you want to go by going left to go left here. Yes, yeah There’s another little left here we can do excellent I Feel perfectly safe I’ve been completely safe no right turns That’s the main thing the cycling directly improves your chances of survival by about 85% definitely No, not sure. That’s words I’ve seen Charles Saatchi having lunch five times already After an hour in the saddle I discovered another problem for cyclists Do something about my boss. This is really uncomfortable So we stopped at a bicycle shop where apparently you can buy special Greaves The women’s bottoms different immense boxes things only Having selected the correct cream I went to apply it in the changing room This made everything worse Oh Have you ever put toothpaste on the testicles for a joke but to be really honest? Yes, I did when I was teenage. Yes exactly, so did I do you remember the page I do Yeah, well is that what it’s not James was very sympathetic goodness gracious great balls of fun with the plane getting worse I Had to make an emergency stop, please may I use your lavatory as my scrotum is on fire have you ever put toothpaste on your scrotum?