Ellen’s Favorite Average Andy Moments

As you know, we celebrate all
kinds of people on this show. Young people, old
people, amazing people, even average people. And there’s no one more average
than my executive producer Andy. Andy has been with the show
from the beginning 16 years ago. I mean, he’s very funny. He’s not just a
tremendous talent. I’m sorry, I read that wrong. He’s just not a
tremendous talent. But Andy is as important part
of this show as anything. He really is. A few years ago, we had an idea
to give Andy his own segment called Average Andy. It features people who are the
best in the world of what they are teaching and doing, and then
they teach Andy how to do it. And he’s learned almost nothing. But it has been fun to watch. And today I thought we would
take a look at Andy’s most average moments. One of the first
things that we did was we had some dancers from
Magic Mike Live teach Andy how to be a stripper,
and it went as well as you would expect in
your mind right now. This is the Dolphin Dive. Yeah. It’s easy. Do it one more time. Oh, kick up first. Oh, OK. Then just roll down like that. Right. Kick it, baby! [APPLAUSE] [LAUGHING] It just doesn’t bend that way. He was stiff as a board, just
doing push-ups basically. They were holding him. Obviously it wasn’t fair to make
Andy compete with Magic Mike dancers, so we had
Andy train with someone who didn’t have washboard abs. Here’s Andy learning how
to be a sumo wrestler. So now you will dress me in
the tradition of your people. Yeah. That seems like a lot there. [INAUDIBLE] It seems like a fire hose-worth. OK. What? Wait, you laughing at my body? [INAUDIBLE] I’m sucking it in. We both have dad bods. It’s OK. It’s hilarious that this
is happening in Van Nuys because it’s, like, the
porn capital of the world. [INAUDIBLE] Oh! Oh! This is unbelieva– oh. OK. Squat down. Squat. OK. Oh, boy. OK. Balls! OK. OK. OK. Yeah, that’s– it’s out! What What happened? My junk. Hang on. It popped out. [INAUDIBLE] Yeah. OK. Right on, bro. Nice. Yeah. So since sumo wrestling
wasn’t Andy’s thing, we had him get in the ring
with some Mexican wrestlers. And that was when he–
well, we almost broke him. Whose first with
signature moves. What do you got for
a signature move? Ugh! [LAUGHTER] All right. Wow. Since I’m the tiny guy, I take
advantage of my opponent’s. I normally punish them by
carrying them and doing crazy stuff. OK. Right. Wait, we’re just practicing. Yeah, we’re just practicing. Just something easy, right? OK. Right. Does it hurt? No. It’s just easy. Simple. Wow. I’m just waiting for things
to stop spinning a bit, and then we’re
going to continue. OK. I prefer the
head-in-the-ass thing, just if we’re going to be honest
as we review what we’ve done. Now look. There’s another thing Andy has
no business being a part of. It’s Cirque de Soleil. Of course, Cirque Du Soleil
is French for horny mimes. Here’s what happened
when Andy joined them. Alexey is our
contortionist in the show and he’s the most
flexible man in the world. In the world? The simplest thing is the split. And then you can go this way. OK. Here. Yeah. [LAUGHTER] The fold. [INAUDIBLE] Someone should– I’m
sure the first time someone helped you fold. What I’m saying is maybe
you can help me fold. You’re a little bit
self-centered, Alexey. OK. Go. OK. Is it enough? Is that as far as you were? OK. I thought that was your back! I’m sorry. I thought that was your ass. I’m sorry. I thought I was slapping his– It’s an honest mistake, Alexey. I lost track exactly
what was front and back. It was an honest
mistake, Andy, it was. He may be average, but
you’re very entertaining. And today, Andy, I’m
going to give you a chance to do something that
you’ve never done before. You’re going to do tWitch’s job. No, no. Yes. No. You know what? No. You have to. I’ll do it with– No. No. I can’t dance. We’re going to play
your favorite band. I can’t dance! We’re going to– yes you can. Stop! Come here. We’re going to play Duran Duran. You just danced
through the audience. Let’s go! Dance! [MUSIC – DURAN DURAN, “HUNGRY
with the ground. I’m on the hunt. I’m after you. Smell like I sound,
I’m lost in a crowd, and I’m hungry like the wolf. Straddle the line in discord
and rhyme, I’m on the hunt, I’m after you. Mouth is alive with
juices like wine, and I’m hungry like the wolf. Stalked in the forest,
too close to hide. That wasn’t the
dance aisle, Andy. You went through the wrong row. Hi, I’m Andy. Ellen asked me to remind you
to subscribe to her channel so you can see more
awesome videos, like videos of me getting scared
or saying embarrassing things, like ball peen hammer, and
also some videos of Ellen and other celebrities if
you’re into that sort of thing. Ah! [BLEEP] God [BLEEP].